The One Where She Says "Thank You"

About eight years ago, back in the days of MSN, I met a guy with fluffy hair and a funny laugh. After about twenty seconds of being together we realised we were just destined to be best ever friends in the whole wide world and that was that. We were even in each other's MySpace Top 8 at one point.

This week I saw an article on Twitter. Reading it momentarily tipped my world upside down. The article was written by a man who had struggled with depression and attempted to take his own life. The signature at the end of the article was my best friend's.

My instant reaction was "Why did I not know about this?" quickly followed by "I'm such an awful friend. How did I not notice?" After re-reading and re-reading and re-reading I came back down to Earth and remembered that it was not about me. This whole situation is not about me. I didn't know about it, because my friend did not even really know about it himself. I did not notice because it would have hurt him more if I did.

I am so proud of him for speaking up about mental illness and for helping to break the stigma attached to it. I hate that some people feel they will be viewed as weak if they admit that they are struggling, when in reality, so many people can relate to it. In being candid and open about their experiences people could actually save the lives of others.

There is so much I could say about this, and to my friend in particular. So I will.

Here's to you, my best ever friend in the whole wide world. I just want to say thank you. Quite a few times actually, so you probably want to sit down. Stop rolling your eyes too.

Thank you for letting me steal your pillow the night we all slept over after a party. Thank you for not putting your glasses on the next morning and seeing me in someone's spare pyjamas and last night's make up. I'm not calling you shallow but our friendship may have ended right at that point.

Thank you for leaving the pub that night at half time and coming to pick me up so I could watch the match, even though I wasn't wearing any eye-liner.

Thank you for lying to telling my mum we wore suncream that day we sat in a beer garden and I got so burnt that I couldn't cover my shoulders for two days.

Thank you for not disowning me when I threw up in your front garden and left your birthday party before midnight. Granted I kept it a secret for several years but still. Oh and thank you for not being mad that I kept it a secret.

Thank you for taking me on my first and only picnic.

Thank you for making me a moving mask of your face. For buying me a new copy of Peter Pan. For writing week-long letters to me when I went away.

Thank you for forcing me to go to hospital on several occasions. Thanks for staying up through the night to send texts of support to my mum and to make sure I hadn't escaped. I will always be grateful that you visited me and witnessed a woman falling asleep with her hand in a mug of tea and a banana in her mouth, otherwise I would have really begun to doubt myself.

Thank you for pretending I stayed up through our all-nighter so that we could brag about it to no one at all.

Thank you for leaving a little green alien on my doorstep seven years ago. We might have ran out of things to talk about on a few occasions if you hadn't.

I can't believe I'm saying this but thank you for making me those CDs and taking me to the Beatles museum. That first summer when I got to camp and people found out I was from Liverpool a Beatles question usually followed. I could tell them my favourite song. I could tell them that George was my favourite because he liked to garden. I could even tell them what Ringo's real name was, if they really wanted to know. They never did, but I could have, because of you.

Thank you for always taking me to McFly concerts even though you reaaaaaaally don't like their music. Thanks for doing the claw dance with me. For singing in that ridiculous voice on the way home.

Thank you for not getting mad that time we got lost looking for the car park in Chester. Driving round the roundabout eleven times and laughing each time was much more fun.

Thank you for pretending (I know you are pretending) that my impressions are great. Even my Yoda one. Especially my Yoda one.

Thank you for always doing a New Year's Eve count down with me, even if it is ten hours early.

Thank you for understanding my fears, my worries, my inability to eat at a restaurant, for pushing me when I need to be pushed, for reminding me that my dreams won't just land in my lap because I want them to, for always bringing me a gift back from holiday, and most of all, thank you for sticking around. I cannot imagine my life without you in it. There would be a lot more rain and a lot less laughter.

Thank you for reading all the way to the end of this, even though it is ridiculously long and more than a little mushy.

Please also note that if you ever write a script for a movie and cast me as the leading lady I will be reusing this post when I win my Oscar. I will be much too busy being famous and adored to write a speech so just bear this in mind at the time.

Seriously Googs, for a fluffy-haired guy, you're alright.

As ever,

Becca Biscuit