Sunday 20 April 2014

The One Where She Conquered Lent



I did it! I survived Lent. I surpassed all expectations and made it to the end in one piece. Just in time too, as I was starting to become embroiled in a turf war between Facebook and Twitter. Facebook must have figured out that I was coming to the end of my journey and sent me several emails. The emails ranged from "Someone is waiting for you to see their post on your timeline" to "Your friends miss you!" (blatant guilt trip by the way). The final email I received really got my hopes up. I was desperate to log in. It said that I had recently been tagged in 798 photos. Seven-hundred-and-ninety-eight photos. I don't think I even know 798 people. I've definitely only been out once or twice recently with cameras around, so where did these photos come from? Were they ugly? Was it on my good side? How did my hair look??? HAVE I BEEN PAPPED AS THE GIRL WHO GAVE UP FACEBOOK FOR LENT? The possibilities of these 798 photos were beginning to make me light-headed but I didn't crack YESSSSS EGG PUN!. I refused. If the Easter Bunny could go 40 days and 40 nights in the desert without chocolate and only a volleyball named Wilson for company then I could last the final 48 hours.

In the midst of all this, Twitter began emailing me. It was like they knew! They sensed my weakness; I needed social media in my life, so they decided to strike. They emailed me to tell me how popular my latest tweet was (not very), how many people had looked at it (not many) and how many interesting responses it had generated (none). They asked me to come back and continue interacting. Who with? I guess I'll never know but there I had it, my one and only experience of being in the middle of a turf war. Granted, I was sat in my giraffe onesie eating Minstrels but it still felt really intense and just like a scene out of West Side Story.

This morning finally rolled around and I logged into Facebook the minute I opened my eyes. I had been tagged in maybe five photos, I had a couple of wall posts and any notifications I received before the 12th April had been swallowed up. Where were my 798 photos? That could have generated at least 798 likes (all from my mum but a like is a like), I could have spent the whole day scrolling through and gleefully untagging any that had the dreaded red-eye and cropping any that showed my arms at a bad angle.

Instead I found that Facebook has a new feature. A new awful, frightening feature. Facebook in all its power and glory has decided to invent a feature that groups all of your yearly activity into a lovely bundle of photos. So just incase you wanted a reminder of your bad hair days, drunken selfies you thought were long gone or baby photos that some wise guy posted after coming round for tea and snooping around your house...there they are, right there on your profile. For everyone to see. Thanks Facebook, I struggled through the whole of Lent just to wake up on Easter Sunday to photo evidence of my puppy fat years and some really classy snaps from 2009 when every outfit I wore showcased my bra.

Despite the initial disappointment though, I realised how worthwhile this little challenge has been. First of all, I realised that I actually have willpower. I set myself a goal and I achieved it. Secondly, I tried something new; exercise. Sure, if I had been to the gym as often as I would normally have refreshed my home page I would be a body-builder but at least I discovered something new that I actually really enjoy. Thirdly, I improved the life span of my thumbs. Repetitive strain injury is something my generation will battle for years to come if we keep texting/tweeting/updating like we do now.

Finally, I improved my social skills. When people tried to speak to me, either in the lunch room at work, at home, in the car, even at the checkout in the shops, I was actually able to make eye contact. I heard what they were saying. I responded. Before, I would have been scrolling through my newsfeed, reading through the same old updates and wondering how I even knew half of these people, only half-listening and often forgetting to respond to the person in front of me. I was more wrapped up in the updates of people I do not even speak to, to converse with real-time people standing before my very eyes. I'm sorry for that and it made me ask myself a question. How much do we miss out on every day when we are glued to our phone screens, so wrapped up in how we are perceived virtually? Does it affect how we are perceived in every-day life? I say no more to that. No more lunch hours spent refusing to tear my eyes away from my timeline. No more half-hearted attempts at a conversation while I am flicking through random posts on a page I accidentally liked once upon a time. From now on, I will be living in the present moment and I will be enjoying it.

There will still be plenty of carefully-angled, well-lit selfies though, I haven't changed that much.

As ever,

Becca Biscuit