The One Where She Joins A Gym

So I'm back in the blogging world with a big announcement. I have said goodbye to Facebook...for Lent. Who knows, maybe forever! (For Lent)

My Facebook addiction has reached extreme levels. Not only do I post every mundane element of my life on there but I spend the rest of my time scrolling through the mundane posts of others, refusing to 'like' them because their lives are slightly more Facebook-worthy than mine. My thumbs feel mildly arthritic and my already appalling social skills are suffering. It really takes the biscuit. So I'm done. For forty days.

I knew I needed a replacement activity though. My first thought was eating. My second thought was that I can't afford a bigger pair of jeans. So I did the unthinkable. I joined the gym. Yes, I joined the gym. Me. The person who is repulsed by exercise, eats Peanut M and M's for breakfast and refuses to walk home from the train station that is ONE STREET OVER from my own. 

The reaction I have received so far is: 70% absolute shock, 20% disbelief and 10% enthusiastic high fives. I hate high fives because I am really bad at them. My connecting 'five' is always very weak and a little embarrassing. Perhaps the gym can help with this?

Anyway, I digress. I joined a gym. I was getting along just fine with the paperwork when the girl behind the desk offered me a sweet from a huge basket of Maoams and Wham Bars. I normally love a good Wham Bar, except for when one of the fizzy crystals lodges itself in a back tooth and appears an hour later with the same jolting effect caused by licking a battery. I have never licked a battery (one of my many fears in life) but I imagine it feels very similar. I had no idea you were allowed sweets at the gym, if I had I would have joined much sooner, but this time I politely declined with a "no ta" and explained that too many sweets is why I was signing up for the gym in the first place. She really didn't need the Facebook story. I felt like I had passed my first fitness challenge. Go me! Amazing! So what if I celebrated with a fry up and two lemon and sugar pancakes when I got home?

Tomorrow is supposed to be my first evening at the gym. Exercising. If I survive, I will be sure to post my victory on here. After all, if I cannot update my status every five minutes with a witty life reflection and a screw-faced selfie, I may as well vent in a blog. I miss Facebook already.

As ever,

Becca Biscuit